Oscars to all the Great Pretenders

Oscars to all the Great Pretenders

How deep does DENIAL of the TRUTH go?  Eventually it cultivates an ability to bypass reality and exist on what is perceived as wishful thinking…. or is it survival?  For the sake of the children - For the sake of financial implications - For the sake of the parents - For the sake of the society -  For the sake of work/career - For the sake of …..?

      The price of pretending seems awfully high. It requires being in a constant state of STRESS and ANXIETY and is a sure recipe for ILLNESS.  Maintaining a constant state of FEAR manifests in FURY AND ANGER.   Emotionally and Spiritually you die a slow death until you seize to exist and instead become a SHELL of who you are meant to be. The real YOU cannot exist in this space.

     There are no winners in THE GAME OF THE GREAT PRETENTER, only LOOSERS.  Everyone loses – the children, the parents, the friends and MOST IMPORTANTLY by keeping up the PRETENCE you will have to give up on YOU!

God did not make a mistake when he created you.  YOU are meant to be YOU!

    Dan Millman said: “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.  Your mind is your predicament.  It wants to be free of change.  Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death, but change is law, and no amount of PRENTENDING will alter that reality.”

Fish upon a Star 14 March 2014 Happy birthday my brother

Today would have been your 55th birthday my beloved brother

I will miss you forever....

 

Fish upon a Star

You always loved to fish                        

Childhood memories of ponds              

Cousins all around adoring

All the cares so far before us

 

River rapids calling gently  

Long awaited wish comes true                                                                                                                           Bait prepared and weather perfect                                 

Young hearts  gladdened so

Stalking quietly to settle down 

Hushed voices, sparkling eyes        

Birds calling and cows grazing   

Long grass gently waving                                                                                                                                               

Fish o Fish upon a Star                                                                                                                                  

How I long to be with you      

Bait on hook at rivers edge                                                                                                                  

Spending time together

Fishing from a special Star

Neither near but not so far
Keeping memories alive
Twinkling in my heart

Abandonment to Joy 7 March 2014

Abandonment  to  Joy

Spending time at the local town annual Fayre, a special young girl, so very dear to my heart, abandoning herself to pure joy.  She is walking this life as one of God’s special little angels.

      She just could not get enough!  Ride after ride on the big swings, flying high! When the time slot ended, she patiently sat in her swing, adamantly NOT getting off.  As soon as the swings started moving forward, her entire body perked up and her face just beamed. She hopped around in her secure little seat in anticipation.  Barely aware of anything or anyone else, but simply abandoning herself to this experience, right here and right now.  With little squeaks of delight, she held on securely and simply flew round and round and round...

What gives you that feeling of pure abandoned joy? Are we, as adults, even able to feel that?

We all need MORE of that JOYFUL feeling!

 

Karin Engman   Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaker    082 7246985

Family Here We Grow 28 Feb 2014

Greatest Growth Gifts   Today I realized, that I am finally free from the burdens of regret. It was not a gradual realization – it was sudden – like waking up one morning and knowing:  I am free, I feel lighter!     I have had many opportunities of personal growth. Especially in my childhood and early adult years, but even now, my life continues to present more growth opportunities.  We can choose to perceive our relationships as challenges, hardships, misfortune or gifts.  We have a choice as to what we do with life’s challenges:  move through it or spend a life time stuck in self-pity and bitterness. Family members present us with the best opportunity to have ‘relationship’. Yet, we often miss this gift of learning or the life lessons associated with challenging family relationships. Eventually, we may realise that families are actually our greatest teachers on our life journey.     The alternative is to hold on to all our grievances and live a life of Bitterness.  This ultimately results in physical illness and a certain life of unhappiness and many negative life experiences. I understand and accept that each person is doing their best and working through a treasure chest of unresolved issues themselves, whilst navigate their lives.  We can choose to exchange resentment with empathy.    My heart filled up with unconditional love and I am grateful for each member of my family!   When we no longer resist what we can’t change and willingly learn what we are supposed to learn, we are set free.       Only YOU can make that choice!      Karin Engman     Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaker   082 7246985

Beauty or the Beast 21 February 2014

Beauty or the Beast

  

          Do you have the ability to see past the ‘beast’ and recognise the ‘beauty’ within others? Are you able to see your own beauty or are you focussed on your negative aspects? To be human we need to have both aspects.  Without sun there is no shadow.  Without night there are no starts visible.

 

 As in the story, ‘the Beast’ transforms through love, softens and finally believes, that he really is worthy of love. Embracing all of who we are, and believing that we are worthy of Devine love regardless of not being perfect– allows us to love and accept ourselves and only then, can we accept to be loved by another.

 

          With much ‘Beastliness’ everywhere, we tend to miss the HOPE and the potential that lies within each one of us.  Our ‘aliveness’ will dim slowly but surely, if we choose the negative feed of the world to be our focus.  Like a candle that is oxygen starved. This is a choice we have to make – how bright is your light burning – what ‘fuel’ are you living on?  We need to embrace all of who we are but we have a choice:  where is your focus – on the beauty or on the beast?

  

         Life enthusiasm, the general hope and expectations, of people world-wide, is very low. What do we do with each opportunity and each day?  It is up to each individual to take action to turn our light UP.  To decide to participate in being alive and to cultivate the beauty within us!  You have the potential and the choices to turn that dimmer switch up to shine brighter.  The brighter you shine, the more positive effect you will have on everything and everyone around you.  Each person you encounter in your day is affected by your light. It is a choice to be an energizer light instead of the oxygen starved light that sucks energy from those they meet. 

  

 Human beings have the ability to co-operate and to help each other.  We recognise ourselves in each other.  We are created to be compassionate; we have the potential for heroism and are natural vessels for limitless love. 

             

My prayer today: Give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession, give me one glorious ambition for my life... Allow the Beauty within to shine bright!

 

 

Karin Engman    Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaker     082 7246985

Face your Fears - Be Brave! 7 February 2014

Face your Fears – Be Brave!

A wise older person told me long ago that Life is not a dress rehearsal.  Even when we get the chance to rehearse and practice, we never seem to get to the grand opening. You know this for sure when you have more yesterdays than tomorrows.

What are we waiting for?  If only….. or …. What if….. may hold us back from taking that all important first step.

The smallest action is worth much more than the boldest of intentions.

Courage is the only way to live.  Bravery is not something you feel.  It is something you show.

 By embracing your fears you become exhilarated instead of hysterical.

Move out of the safe harbour. True bravery can only happen in the face of fear.  If you are not afraid, how can your actions be brave? 

Fear can hold us back.  It keeps us in our comfort zone, which is actually the lesser safe place to be. 

On the other side of fear is strength! Every time we push through fear, we gain a little more freedom.

 The greatest risk in life is taking no risk!

Karin Engman    Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaking    082 7246985

Integrity - Honesty - Respect 24 January 2014

I N T E G R I T Y – H O N E S T Y  -  R E S P E C T     24 January 2014

 “Live your life in the manner that you would like your children to live theirs”.

       A life lived with integrity rewards you with SELF-RESPECT. Each time we disregard what is right, we diminish our self-respect.  

      It is human nature to point out the wrong in others and therefore feel better about them-selves.   Many might also say: “I am only one person to try – I say, I am one less to quit.  It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness”. 

We are all playing for the same team – we need to all pull in the same direction!

If you want to be respected, you must first respect yourself.  Self-respect is the fruit of discipline, the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no, when you know what is right and what is wrong.

Mahatma Ghandi said:  In matters of style, swim with the current, in matters of principle, stand like a rock. The future depends on what we do in the present.

If we all light one candle, we contribute towards adding LIGHT.

Karin Engman   Laleli Life Coach and Motivational speaker    082 7246985